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Born 1960, great-great-grandson of John Absolon (1815-1895) Victorian watercolourist. Philip Absolon is dyslexic, went to Rede School, Strood (that's where that rascal Wolf Howard went). Lives in Chatham, Kent.

1977 Medway College of Art & Design, 2 year Foundation. Second year ruined by a blonde girl.
1979-82 Epsom College of Art, Fine Art Diploma. Paintings thrown into skip on Principal's orders.
1982-93 Unemployed/job training schemes.
1984 Applied to Slade School of Art because Augustus John went there. Rejected.
1987 Applied to Royal College of Art. Submitted picures of cats. Rejected.
1993-94 Fine Art Access course, Maidstone College of Art.
1994 Accepted on a part-time degree course at KIAD (Kent Institute of Art & Design), Canterbury Painting Department. Unable to take up the course because of financial difficulties. Then awarded a grant so applied for full-time degree course. Rejected.
1994 Attended life drawing classes at Rochester Adult Education Centre.
1999 Applying for NVQ in horse care.
Oct 1999 Painting exhibition: four generations of Absolons.

Personal ad: electric rain missionary would like to meet rich blonde girl.