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Artist statement (circa 1999): Ella Guru used spank the fat arses of geezers wearing rubber masks in Fetish clubs in London, until she found out all those perverts not only supported the government but also ran it. So she got out of that scene, and now amuses herself with gender bending, painting trannies in beehive wigs. You might ask why? And she'll reply:

"Though I've always been into dames with dongs, the current series of paintings began with a picture of the transvestite poet and international cult figure Sexton Ming. Last summer I continued the series while in France, and participated in several exhibitions around London, including the Anarquist Centre in Brixton and the Museum of Pop Culture in London. This year I have also exhibited at the Fringe gallery in Newark, New Jersey, near New York City and Getto in Amsterdam, where the Amsterdam Gay News named me 'painter of the year.'

"I enjoy gender confusion and delight in nothing more than to lift up a gal 's skirt only to discover a sundial."

Miss Guru is a founding member of Stuckism, as well as their webmistress. Rumours that she walks on the bollocks of other Stuckists wearing 6" stiletto heels are wishful thinking by other members of the group.

She was actually quite famous for a while as a member of almost-pop group 'Voodoo Queens' (on Big Breakfast, The Beat, Peel Sessions and Raw Soup). She now plays with Sexton Ming and is also in his band 'The Tasty Ones' who play in the Dublin Castle, Camden etc. She plays as well with the Tropics of Cancer, but only in a musical sense. Romours that Miss Guru and She Rocola have been spotted getting their tits out at cocktail parties in Camden could possibly be true.

Ella will be performing with Tropics of Cancer on Friday 7th January, at the Falcon in Camden, providing the world has not ended due to Y2K.

Born: 24.5.66, Ohio, USA
Education: Fort Hayes Career Centre, Columbus College of Art and Design, Ohio State University (BA Fine Arts), Printmaking at Morley College London
Solo Exhibitions: First Out, London WC2; Manto's cafe, London W1; Getto, Amsterdam; Waldos on High, Columbus, Ohio; for group shows see CV.
Prizes: "Painter of the Year" - Getto, Amsterdam Pride, "Travel writer of the month" - Worldsurface.com.
Other activities: was a member of 'Voodoo Queens' pop group: performed on The Beat and Peel Sessions; Now plays guitar in The Tasty Ones, The Deptford Beach Babes and The Tropics of Cancer. Certified Open Water Scuba Diver.

Updated November 2002:
These days Ms Guru, now aka Mrs Ming, is lending her obsessive tendencies to large waterfowl, swapping the wild life for wildlife. When asked if she is selling out, Ms Guru replied that she is just as excited by ducks, geese and pelicans as by men in drag, confirming Quentin Crisp's comment that Ms Guru is indeed "weird".

Ms Guru and her husband Sexton Ming have been frequenting Clissold Park in Stoke Newington, as well as travelling further afield for inspiration. They have been bird-watching in the Danube Delta in Romania, though they confesses not to be a professional birdwatchers; they just likes large waterfowl. Pelicans are native to the Delta as well as to Florida, but the most prima donna pelicans you will ever meet reside in St James Park, London; anyone who has ever seen the five Great White birds prance and preen will have to agree they are the drag queens of the bird kingdom. Not even Black Swans or Canada Geese dare to start a fight with those pelicans.

What next? Combining wildlife with drag queens just might be on the agenda; Ms Guru was recently spotted in Highgate Wood photographing the (un)natural heir to Quentin Crisp, a young camp individual known as Dickon.

"Painter of the Year" - Getto, Amsterdam Pride 1999

"an exceptional artist" - Amsterdam Gay News

"totally crap" (or something like that) - Time Out, known for mistaking bags of garbage for art.